Chapter 1
“Are you going to eat that?” A hand, with nails painted the same green as mold growing under old refrigerators, reached for the saddest-looking tiger tail donut in the box.
“It’s all yours,” I said to Lilith.
The succubus squealed with delight and snatched the rejected confection. When I attended group therapy, I rarely ate anything from the snacks table. My therapist, a white wizard psychiatrist named Dr. Frank, assured me he’d bought fresh coffee and donuts for his clients, but that information wasn’t enough to reassure me. Did that wizard honestly believe everyone washed their hands before they man-handled the maple bacon bars?
Either way I wasn’t hungry for donuts. Right before I came here, I made a quick stop, by accident of course, at one of those big chain craft stores. You know, the one where you could scrapbook your heart out in one aisle, or snag cheap-ass table settings for a wedding in another one. Even in mid-January, they had the loveliest post-holiday display, free catered coffee included, so I saw it as a win-win.
While I browsed the beautiful trinkets and disgustingly expensive lawn décor, Dr. Frank’s voice coursed through in my head loud and clear from a therapy session right before Christmas. “The holidays often present challenges, both social and physical. For you, this time of the year will be difficult in terms of self-control.”
Self-control? Bah!
I saw the loveliest golden Rudolph ornament. About a week ago, I’d left a similar one behind during a failed binge shopping spree with my close friend Nick the white wizard. Another woman had purchased it, but lo and behold, I had another chance to make him mine. That is, until I recalled my psychiatrist’s additional warning: “The best exercise to face your demons—the figurative ones—is to go to a post-Christmas sale and leave with one purchase.”
I’d left the store empty-handed (take that Dr. Frank!), and as I stood waiting for my supernatural therapy group to begin, I considered sitting or chatting with the others.
But I didn’t.
Now that I was an alpha female for the South Toms River Pack, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was an imposter. I mean, I’m a supposedly dominant werewolf attending group therapy for obsessive compulsive disorder. That didn’t scream kick-ass leader to me.
I scanned the room. My new status hadn’t changed the way I felt or my perception of this place. This conference room still had eight seats forming a circle. The mahogany conference table was pushed against the wall. Right next to the door, Dr. Frank had left refreshments on a small end table.
Everything sat in its usual place. I should feel reassured and confident, but I didn’t.
I sighed. I couldn’t hold up the wall forever—so I grabbed a seat the moment my friends snagged theirs. Warmth spread through me to see familiar faces. Many of them I didn’t expect to see.
Apparently, Abby the Muse was back from her trip to upstate New York to spend time with one of her authors. Her chestnut-colored hair partially hid half of her face while she stared out the eastern wall of windows to Manhattan. She glanced at the door every now and then as if she expected someone ominous to storm through.
The group member I didn’t expect to see at all was Heidi to my right. My heart sank to see the mermaid scratching at her left arm. Light blue hives—what she called blotchies—covered her wrists and likely snaked up her arms hidden underneath her military jacket. A tight ponytail contained what should’ve been thick red hair. It was now all white. The last time we spoke, she told me it was time for her to return home to the sea to end conflict among her people.
Apparently, either her quest had failed or—even worse—her fear of the ocean forced her out of the water before her journey even began.
Back when she told me she was called to arms as a member of the Royal Court of the Atlantic Coast, her face had been brighter, more full of hope. Now she clutched her bottle of water as that small piece of plastic anchored her to her seat.
I considered saying hi, but held back. We’d all speak soon enough.
Smacking filled the room as Lilith, still munching on her dried-out donut, sat primly between Abby and Nick the white wizard. She wore three oversized sweaters over a green sun dress and had donned bright red rain boots. Nobody was gonna miss her coming. Everyone noticed how Lilith’s chair squeaked on the wooden floor as she scooted a little closer to Nick. I had to give her props for her never-give-up nature. Nick rolled his eyes and edged toward Tyler the dwarf. Tyler sat next to Heidi and completed the circle.
Not sure if Raj planned to come this week. As a minor Indian deity, he’d said he planned to attend some Hindi religious festivals overseas. Compared to everyone else in the group, he used quality hand sanitizer and had the cleanest hands—or should I say multiple invisible arms and hands—I’d ever seen.
“Hey, Nat.” Clad in his usual midnight-black ensemble of a trench coat and slacks, Nick’s polite smile made me grin in return. Usually a fleck of silver glinted in his left eye, but this time his eyes were muted.
“How’s it going?” I asked.
“Same old. Same old.” His voice trailed off and he glanced away.
I tilted my head to the side. Nick usually had much more to say.
“What do you mean—” I prodded as Dr. Frank’s hand rose.
Small talk throughout the room ceased. Dr. Frank’s wise gray eyes shined with an unnatural light. He glanced at each of us in greeting.
“It’s good to see you all.” He closed his eyes and my toes wiggled in anticipation. Before each session, Dr. Frank cast a spell to help reduce anxiety in the room. Honey smooth warmth cascaded from the top of my head and zipped down my legs. Good stuff. If I could, I’d roll over and beg for more. I opened my eyes to see Heidi with her mouth hanging open—in pure bliss—and Lilith had somehow managed to materialize next to Nick. She rested her head on his shoulder and the nirvana-like expression on her face melted away when someone tapped her arm.
Raj stood right outside the circle. He’d made it just in time I gotta say. “May I sit between you two?” he whispered to her.
The succubus gestured to the gap between her and Abby. “Can’t you sit—”
As if on cue, we all shifted to the left—saving poor Nick and making space for Raj.
The succubus scowled and released her prey.
“Good to see you could make it!” Dr. Frank added a few words in a tongue I didn’t recognize. Perhaps Hindi.
Raj responded in kind and sat. He said to us, “My apologies, everyone.”
Dr. Frank continued. “Last week we talked about repetitive habits that hinder our progress in terms of anxiety. Would anyone like to share what you have faced and how you tackled the problem?”
Heidi immediately turned away from Dr. Frank and crossed her arms. Everyone else glanced around until Lilith gave her usual spiel.
“Yuri and I will be getting married soon,” she began, “but I’m afraid.”
“…of killing him?” was my next thought but I’d dirtied my paws far too many times to be pissing in someone else’s yard.
“Go on,” Dr. Frank encouraged.
“I want to be loved…and respected, but I need to eat too.” Her head drooped a bit. “How do I build a long-term relationship with someone when I want to bone some random dude and suck his soul dry?”
To be honest, at first I pitied Lilith, but by the time she finished speaking, I was as exasperated as Heidi. The mermaid’s grimace reflected what I felt.
Tyler stiffly ran his hand through his blond hair a few times. “You can’t.”
Heidi frowned. “He’s right. No matter what you try, you can never run away from your true nature. Even I know that.”
The weight of her words lowered the mood in the room. To everyone’s surprise, Nick broke the silence.
“You have free will,” he said to her. “You have to decide: Can you love someone enough to make sacrifices?” He paused and his voice stuttered. “Y-you have to f-find the middle ground and…” He took a deep breath as if he was winded.
“Nick, you okay?” Abby whispered.
“Yeah.” He wiped his brow and sucked in a breath through pursed lips.
Dr. Frank’s calm expression turned stern. “Don’t do it, Nick.”
